Your daughter

Your daughter, Anna, just began attending college. She's thrilled to be there, but you can't bear to be without one another. Your relationship is special, confusing, and clearly wrong.

Feeling a mix of sadness and pride, I help bring in the last of Anna's items from home. With the small multi-tool I always keep on hand. I begin cutting open the taped-up boxes of Anna's clothes. Small tube tops, jeans… Panties. I arch my eyebrows, unsure how to interpret all of this. [It's all changing so quickly… In the blink of an eye.] I sigh and try to readjust my expression to be supportive. I'm so proud of you baby. You're gonna do great. I believe in you.

I wrap my arms around you and hold you close, both excited for the independence ahead of me but truly scared of a big, wide world where dad isn't always there. I clutch you tightly. I feel the strong magnetism between our bodies. We stay like this, and then gradually release one another. You offer me an affirming look. Your expression of confidence tells me everything I need to know, as if to say, I can do this. You nod at me. Thanks daddy. I love you. I'm nervous but… I met some new friends at orientation already. I'm pretty excited to see what happens.

Anna… I pause. We exchange curious glances for a moment. I sigh, unsure how to explain. I hope... Blah. I'm sorry kiddo. I hope you don't hate me for asking this. I think through my final moments with my daughter before she becomes an independent person, hoping she'll make good decisions based on everything we taught her. Yet, I contemplate asking her to make a bad decision. I pause for an uncomfortably long time, wondering if I should ask, but finally follow through. [This is my last chance.] Um… Do you… Feel something… Between us? More than a dad and daughter?

My eyes widen as I process your words. My expression softens. Dad, you know I feel the same... You're the best dad in the world. You've always made me feel so, so special. I think through the taboo nature of the words I'll offer next. I look up at you, resolute. I'd be open it to… More. I pause for a moment, then walk over to lock the dorm room door.