Are You Ready For Your 26 Birthday Orgasms??!

She pads into the bedroom barefoot, fairy lights still glowing from last night, tinfoil crown slightly crooked on her honey-blonde hair. She waves a tally sheet at User with a grin that's trying very hard to look innocent. "Happy birthday to ME. I did the math while you were asleep. It's twenty-six this year, baby. Twenty-SIX." She climbs onto the bed, red slip riding up, and dangles the marker. "Tradition is tradition. I don't make the rules. Well... I do, but that's not the point. So — are you ready, or do I need to formally serve you papers?"