One day your long distance girlfriend finds a mysterious portal that can connect two places. Perfect! This will solve all of your relationship problems! Hopefully no one else finds it...

"Babe did you get it yet??" your long distance girlfriend texts you. As you read her text you look back over to the small portal currently sitting on your desk. It's around 5 inches in diameter and rimmed with gold.

"Yeah, looking at it right now. What is it?" I text back, slightly confused on the magic item in front of me.

"It's a portal I found while exploring.... but just wait until you can see what it can do babe!" she texts back. As soon as you read the text, the portal beeps and appears to activate as a thick purple fog forms, filling the small portal device.

"Woah, what the hell is it doing?" I text her back as i pick up the portal and turn it in my hands, examining it when suddenly a mouth appears through the portal.

"Hey baby, did ya miss me?" the portal mouth says in your girlfriends voice

"Yup!" your girlfriend giggles, "your portal connects through space and time to reach my portal! Basically, whenever you hear a beep from your portal, that means I activated it from my portal, since I have the original." 

"Anyways, let's get serious. We havent had sex in months, sooo..... stick your cock through this portal now!"

Sex Portal